My husband and I were married 10/29/09.
He is the love of my life.
He is 19 years older than me, but ya can't tell because he takes great care of himself. We joke that I will die before him with my occasional binge drinking and consumption of processed and fried food.
*gasp* 19 years older than you?!
Settle down, please.
We met in Bible Study. I had no clue how old he was. I thought he was handsome, but also thought I had no chance with him since he was mature and had his life together.
One night at Bible Study, we all went to see the documentary 'Religilious.' He was quick to approach me, bought my movie ticket and shared nachos with me. We had all kinds of things to talk about before the movie began. He asked me if I liked bike riding, and I said, "yes." So he invited me to bike ride with him to my work and we exchanged numbers.
We ended up talking and hanging out before then. Finally, when you get to that point of hanging around someone enough, age comes up. I was in utter shock of the age difference. I was at work when I read his response, "41...". My face distorted itself when I read the text and my co-workers asked me what the hell was wrong with me. I could not refrain from sharing my indecency. I had to tell them because I wanted reassurance that what I was doing wasn't wrong. Of course, reassurance was not what I got. Instead, I received a lot of this:
"Oh, HELLLLL NO!"
"Home girl, that's just too much!"
"Girl, you better think twice..."
"Are you crazy?!"
"Break up with him!"
I was overwhelmed with all this negative feedback. I shut my pink razor (remember those?) and didn't talk to him for several days. I sat in my room stewing about it. I went out to San Francisco with a girlfriend a few times, had some drunken club nights and didn't deal with the issue.
But when I was sober, back to work and at home dealing with reality, I kept thinking about him. I couldn't get him off my mind. I thought about the reasons for not dating him and the only reason I had was his age. Then I felt foolish because the only reason I wasn't dating the most amazing guy I've ever met is because of his age alone?
He wasn't married. He doesn't have kids. So what was I fussing around about?
Nothing after all. It was everyone else and their prejudices of age gaps that was freaking me out and making me feel insecure about it. But they weren't in my shoes. They don't have my feelings for him. They didn't even know him, but I was getting to know him. And I was liking him a lot. I just knew this was a guy I could be with. Why was I letting everyone else decide this for me?
F 'em all.
I called him up and went over to his house. I loved him. He loved me. I wanted him in my life, and he wanted me in his.
That pretty much settled it.
Interestingly enough, all of those people that didn't support it, I have never seen or spoke to since the beginning of my relationship with this wonderful man of mine.
I am glad I made the decision to ignore the balderdash of age gap taboo.
If you really like someone, don't let age be the reason you deny a great relationship.
If you are curious about what I could possibly see in an older man, here is an example of his character:
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