Date Your Man

Working day shifts since school didn't work out has been great. I am dating my husband all over again. We have gone out on a whim to the movies, made dinner together, and have a lot more time to talk. The past few days have been especially romantic, and I have learned more about his childhood too. 

Tonight, we brought up the past on how we met and what we thought about each other in the beginning of our relationship. It rekindled that emotion of feeling special. We were reminded tonight why we fell in love in the first place. It's good to bring up the past - bad and good. You learn something new each time you do. The bad memories will help you to learn from mistakes or not do to someone else what was done to you. The good memories will make you happy and remind you what you have to be grateful for. 

I didn't think this was possible, but I feel like I am falling in love again with Ron in a different way. I did not realize how time together makes a tremendous impact on your relationship. We drifted apart for a little bit when I was going to school during the day, then working many late nights only to return home to a sleeping husband. He needs his rest for his early work days. Five years together now, and we have reached that point of understanding what our relationship needs to maintain itself. 

Time. Dates. Talks. Sex. 

Seems so obvious right? But it isn't. It is very easy to get caught up in the obligations of life with little regard to what is really important in your life. I have recently let my walls down completely, allowing myself to be vulnerable with Ron. Marriage is humbling. You cannot be selfish in it. You need to think about the other person as much as you think about yourself. If you want to be happy in it, you have to let things go, change your attitude sometimes, consider another perspective and choose battles wisely. Some things aren't even worth mentioning. For example, Ron has a tendency to overreact to little things. For instance, today, I reached for the Special K on the kitchen counter to scan the label so I could log it as my breakfast. He immediately snatched it from me and said, "Hey! Don't eat that! I just made us delicious, vegan tacos!" 

As silly as this was, there are two ways to respond to that. I could have gotten annoyed because he assumed I was going to eat Special K over his tacos and because he grabbed it out of my hand. OR I could just look at him and smile while I said, "My dear, I'm just going to scan the label for my breakfast I had today." What an amazing response I got in return, a simple, "Oh" as he returned the box to me and emphasized how much he wanted me to eat the tacos with a little kiss.

In the recent past, I might have reacted annoyed and expressed my dissatisfaction with his grabbing the box out of my hand along with his assumption I was passing on his tacos. But why? Simply, he was passionate about his tacos is all, and grabbing the box out of my hand was his way of defending his cooking. When you care about someone and how they feel, these little things will become just that... little things. Nothing worth getting annoyed about and starting an argument over. Why take away from a perfectly lovely evening that a man has put together for you? 

It is in these moments that I realize we are growing together. We are learning about each other. Things to get upset about should be important matters involving disrespect for one another. All that other stuff is just plain good for ya. Why? If you allow yourself to grow with someone else, you begin to see how much more patient you are than you were before. You begin to have more compassion than you did before. You start to realize that loving someone is a choice that you make, every day. Love builds trust, the kind of trust that is rarely experienced between two people. Love is what makes you beautiful.

Reality Hits

I am no longer eligible for financial aid since Ron and I together make "too much" now. Boy, they sure are getting tight with money. If we make too much then I understand the joke now about people saying, "Just have a kid. Then you'll get help." NO KIDDING... Why do those of us who make responsible choices in life get punished? If I was a single mama, I'd be gettin' all kinds of financial aid. This is a dead argument, but needed to be stated for venting purposes. I feel better already. Kinda.

Over the summer, I had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot be a full time student. I can't afford to live and go to school full time, so I will have to chip away at college even slower than I ever anticipated. This is going to be a life journey. Now that I know this, I wonder if a bachelors is even worth the investment at this point. An associate's degree might just be the only thing actually feasible. I'm going to make that my goal to get an associate's for now. It's attainable, the goal is reachable. Bachelors is goin' on the back burner. Not so confident about that anymore since financial aid is out of the question now.

People say, "Just take out loans." Umm... the subjects I enjoy studying are not worth the $50,000 loans.  I really have to sit here and assess the investment, which at the rate tuition rises every year, I am more doubtful about the value of higher education as time goes on, honestly. We have a house. That's a big debt that won't be squashed any time soon. I am likely to go through at least five more cars in my life time, add that debt to the list. I'm starting to think that getting back in the work force debt-free is the smart way to go. I'm not going to school for super high paying careers, so, I need to be reasonable with debt.

Getting older for me has given me more confidence in my decisions and to do what I feel is best for me regardless of what everyone else thinks. There are many who will judge me, and will even look down on me if I don't get a bachelors degree. I have realized though that these are not people I want around me. If people are going to place my value based on what a piece of paper says about me, then good ridden to prestige. I don't welcome that into my world, ever.

I'm going to enjoy life, and that is a choice we have to make on our own because as much as we think we control life... we really don't. So roll with the punches I say... make that lemonade from those lemons life throws at ya and drink that delicious glass. Besides, what is life about? Family, friends and good food. If you have the 3 F's in life, then that's a darn good life. ;-)