Thanksgiving

We did the unthinkable and celebrated a Turkeyless Thanksgiving. After all, my husband is vegetarian and so is Stevie. No worries though. We made up for it by having mashed potatoes, gravy, potato casserole, green bean casserole, butternut squash ravioli (which never made it to the table), and pumpkin pie. We made it all from scratch. That's good enough for me!

We spent about fifteen minutes setting the table and taking photos. I was amazed at the patience we all had to wait before devouring the food. It seemed like it was a meal we did not want to rush. We savored every moment of baking, mixing, stirring, setting the table, lighting the candles. 

The pumpkin pie was home made and delicious. However, I still cannot take credit for its deliciousness since it was not my recipe. I feel more honest saying, "I follow directions well." I am glad it turned out.

It was a pleasure to have Stevie and Prince Ali spend Thanksgiving Day with us. We have many years of friendship to be proud of and thankful for. Stevie and I have known each other since we were five or six years old. It is amazing to me that we have been friends all these years, especially after all our ups, downs, bad decisions, and selfish moments. However, we have shared too many laughs, and too many sentimental moments to let our dark phases murder our bond. Indeed, it has strengthened it. 

Then we all walked it off at La Jolla Beach. :) It was a beautiful day spent with my husband, and long life friend. This is a day I will always be thankful for.

Dear Ron

This year, I want the world to know that I am thankful for you. You have been an amazing example of unconditional love. I know I was not the best wife this year, but you still continued to love me. You forgave me for things that make me realize just how special you are. Your heart is filled with compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and love. You are the happiest person I know, and it rubs off on me. I thank you for that, and I am so grateful for your positive attitude in everything you do. 

Because you are a glass half full kinda guy, you have helped me fill my empty glass with the Eeyore rain clouds hovering above me. I am less resentful, less negative, and less angry about things because of the love that you have showered me with. You help me gravitate to the light, away from my instinctually dark ways. 

You have always bestowed upmost respect for me. I feel so lucky because you never give me any reason to feel insecure in our relationship by always making me feel special. The way you look at me makes me feel like the most beautiful person to you. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. I have never believed that I was the most beautiful person to anyone. I know that you love me. I feel it, and I know it. I love you back. 

We got through a rough patch this year. I have never felt more confident in a relationship than I do now. You have seen me at my worst this year, and you fulfilled an important vow, "for better or worse..." You really meant it, and I witnessed it this year. I know this won't be the last challenge we ever face, but you and I both know how hard this year was for us, and if we made it through that, I think we have the tools necessary for the next hiccup to come.

I write this to you on my blog because I want my friends to know that you are the best thing that has come my way, and not in a pathetic Romeo and Juliet way. You DO make me a better person, and everyone needs to know that you are a true chivalrous Knight in Shining Armor. You rescued a damsel in distress all right, and I appreciate every little thing you do for me. 

I, here by knight thee as Best, Noble Husband

...who I shall not take for granted as my duty in return for your faithfulness. 

You are the one I always hoped for, but never thought existed. I hope you stick around forever. ;-)

Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans this year. 

<3 Your Lucy Ricardo

Spiritual Enlightenment

Who is the Creator? I don't know. I have been experiencing a spiritual roller coaster since I was aware I was living on the planet Earth. I have struggled with not understanding the concepts of Christianity, regardless of what denomination I was researching. Recently, I have let go of trying to figure it out, and have put to rest my questions on who the creator is and what my part in life brings to the world. There are many who might feel sad at the thought of not knowing the answers to these questions, and how lonely it must feel. Subsequently, I would have to agree that it is very lonely. I do feel alone right now in the sense that I do not know my purpose here, only that I am making it up as I go. I am attracted to spiritual teachings, but I fail to understand the concept of many of them. Although I do not understand my purpose here, I am trying to make a purpose for myself in this life by feeding off the energy my relationships with people bring, reading quotes of wisdom left by our ancient ancestors, and challenging myself to be a better human being.

One of the ways I find purpose in my life is by fulfilling a spiritual part in me when my relationships with people are genuine, sincere, and meaningful. When I walk away from spending time with a friend or rekindling a friendship, I just light up inside. I feel happy that there are people who enjoy me and I enjoy them. Good friendships bring more than just happiness into my life though. For instance, a girlfriend of mine has been struggling with a recent engagement break up in which her family is acting cold towards her because they do not feel she is handling it the way they think she should. Without her family's help and support in this part of her life, I have been able to talk with her, and listen to how she feels. I know she has been very grateful that she has someone she can talk to about this, since everyone else has no patience to lend an ear about the matter anymore. Through my own personal struggles with family through my own mistakes that I have made, I feel that I have been able to make a difference in her life by being a friend that isn't criticizing her choices or making her feel badly because of her struggles. Instead, I feel as if I am this cuddly bear she can sit with to comfort her. As a result, I am seeing her progress through this dark place in her life, not because of me, but because I am walking by her side through this transition into a happier place in her life. That makes me feel that I have served a purpose in her life which makes this relationship meaningful to me, and shows me what kind of person I am choosing to be. Instead of focusing on what my purpose is, my friendships help me focus on the purpose of wanting to live.

Another way I find purpose in my life is through reading stories with messages or quotes of wisdom meant to inspire or help people. The Native American values have become my primary source of information to check my behavior in accordance with theirs. Their way of thinking is important to me because it reminds me of what I should be doing. For example, an old Cherokee legend about two wolves explains an important message of the spirit each of us have. I will tell the story here.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. 

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy." It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." 

He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

I don't know a human being alive who does not struggle with which wolf to feed at times. This Cherokee legend reminds me that I have to feed the good wolf to keep that spirit alive in me. The good spirit only dies if I let it. When I begin to feel the emotions of anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed or any of those unpleasant emotions, I know I need to fight those feelings to get the better side of me. I also find myself listening to the message of Little Hawk over and over again to invite the spirit into my life. Here is the link, Little Hawk, where you can breathe in his insightful words too. It is an important part of my life now to read the messages and knowledge of our ancient ancestors because we live in a world now where it is far too easy to disconnect with what is real. Their words guide me to recognize the spirit, and listen to it when I am aware of its presence. 

When I listen to the presence of the spirit, I take an opportunity to become a better person. Sometimes, the right thing to do is not the easy thing to do. For example, when someone cuts me off on the highway, I feed the bad wolf by cussing up a storm in the car, honking my horn profusely, and possibly even throwing the middle finger in there. It is much more difficult to stay calm, and ignore their irresponsible driving. Immediately after I calm down, I realize that it was a waste of energy to get myself worked up in the heat of the moment. It did not serve me well. What does serve me well is when I manage to get by with rolling my eyes, a big sigh, and pushing it to the back of my mind. The only person it hurts to be angry is me, meanwhile, the stupid driver is happily driving ahead not giving me a second thought. If we take this a step further, and analyze road rage, what could happen to me if I kept feeding the bad wolf in this situation? Maybe the gun would come out next time. So this may seem like a small challenge, but small challenges can lead to bigger problems if we do not handle them well. By challenging myself to make the right choice in my daily struggles, I become a better person by practicing patience. Having patience also makes me feel alive, and brings meaning into my life because I feel in control. If I do not have control of myself, then someone else will, and I will not be able to find a purpose in living if my freedom is gone.

By practicing self-control, I become more like the people I admire. I can feel the good spirit inside. Feeling the spirit strengthens my relationship with others. In addition, being guided by the spirit the Natives talk about help me make the right choices. When I practice this way of life, good people come my way. Having that sense of community around me has been crucial to my happiness here. It is because of how I choose to live my life that the kind of people I respect cross my path. My relationships are a reflection of me, because there must be some common ground to form a bond. When I take a step back and look at my friends, I know I walk on a good and balanced path. I have a community around me in all places of this world who are all so different from each other in what they believe, but not in what they practice. They are kind to others, and care about the people in their life. It is in my friendships that I am able to see the joys life can bring to me. I cannot appreciate the glass being half full if I spend my time being angry about the half that is empty. In other words, by focusing my energy on unanswered questions I have, it influences me to focus on the evil of this world. However, if I stop being angry about what I cannot understand, I am influenced to enjoy the beauty, peace and good people of this world. 

Girlfriend

Slowly, but surely, I have started to like this girl Jenna Mourey who has become a famous YouTuber. Her videos get millions of hits. This is what she does for a living these days, uploading her thoughts on videos that make me laugh, but also leaves behind a message to think about. So I am dedicating this blog to a truly super cool, honest girl that I would buy a cocktail for and do a shot with on a weekend night if I ran into her. I would love to party with this girl!

Purple Promise

I write about myself an awful lot. Meanwhile, my husband deserves to be formally recognized in this blog I say is about "Just the Two of Us." On October 24, 2012, we took a nice mini vacation to Memphis, Tennessee to attend the The Purple Promise Award Dinner Banquet to celebrate all the employees who received the award. I am so proud of  Ron. He was one of 16 selected employees out of over 200,000 to receive the Purple Promise Award. For those of you who do not already know, Ron is a transportation driver for the heavy weight division at FedEx. There are a few FedEx divisions, and where he works is the main division. If you were to talk to someone who works at FedEx Freight, or FedEx Ground, they would have no idea what the Purple Promise Award is.

Now that we have that cleared up, the Purple Promise Award honors the selected employees at a formal dinner in Memphis, where the FedEx Airport and corporate office is. This is a difficult award to achieve as there are thousands of employees.

Here is the screening process selected employees go through before being chosen:

 Purple Promise Selecting Process

Why Ron was selected:

Click on the photos to view it larger.

Professional Photos taken at the Banquet

Ron personally receiving his award from CEO Dave Bronzcek and Mike Ducker (VP)

It was a pleasure to meet the "big wigs" of FedEx, as they were very nice people and very appreciative of the employees who represent the company. 

Ruby Wilson and a band performed, aka Queen of Beale Street in Memphis, Tennessee

She was amazing and brought some Aritha Franklin/ Tina Turner soul to the night. You bet I was dancing. She was a funny lady too. She walked up with her cane to the stage Yoda style even with a man to help her up. Once she started singing, she broke out dancing Jedi style. When it was over, she reverted back to her cane and was escorted off the stage. What is it with these Jedi's hiding their powers from us?

 And to top off the celebration? Ron, the vegetarian ate the famous ribs at Corky's with his manager Jeff to witness it. Ron said, 'If I'm gonna go down, I'm going down with style.' 

Graceland was cool. We learned a lot about Elvis, and his charitable contributions. I was very impressed to learn that he walked around Memphis like a normal person, and was known for giving his cars away to people who needed it. He would simply buy another car. The only car he held onto was the pink cadillac because it was his mom's favorite. His house was surprisingly humble in comparison to the celebrity cribs we see today.

We really enjoyed the south. It has a unique culture. The people were hospitable, and we felt the country life even though we stayed in the city. I could probably live out there, but Ron disagrees. So we will stay in southern California, but I hope to one day end up in a small town again. I really do miss the slower pace of life, and experiencing all of the four seasons. We chose San Diego, and there are many perks to being here besides just the perfect weather. We always have places to go, restaurants to try, and events to attend. I am enjoying the city life, but being from Pennsylvania, I have a country side to me. Perhaps, one day, we will find a way to fulfill both sides of me.

Chowder the cat

I think it's time I write a blog about Chowder. 

He is the best pet I have ever had. Why? Because he is sweet, docile, playful, loves people, wants attention, but also likes his space (isn't needy) and likes to follow me around. Even while eating, he wants to be part of the fun. He also takes naps with me. 

I used to be a dog person. I was a dog groomer for three years and worked at a doggy day care for one year. I not only love dogs, but I understand exactly what needs to happen to have a healthy, balanced, good dog that everyone wants. But it is WORK! They need to be potty trained, then trained and socialized so they are not rude and out of control. You have to walk them at least once a day, even then it isn't always enough. Oy... dogs are a lot of work, and with my kind of schedule these days being a full time student/working part time, I flat out do not have time for a dog. In my opinion, the best time to own a dog is when you're retired for the amount of attention they ask for. Yeesh... 

I know very few dedicated owners who give their dogs exactly what they need. I can count on one hand, sadly. I will even go as far as to tell you that some dogs who live in really nice shelters or are foster pets have better homes than some of the dogs out there with actual homes. If a dog is to be in the yard all day chained up... let's compare that to the dog in the nice shelter where he gets walked twice a day by a volunteer, has a nice room to himself or with a pal and can play with his toys. He's fed a good meal twice a day, and is checked up on by the vet. People come every day to say hi and greet him. Just because a dog has a home, does not mean he is better off. 

Now cats on the other hand... I realize they are not all lovable creatures. Some of them are quite picky about who they like, and some of them don't even like people. This is why I adopted an adult cat who was already a few years old. I got to check out his personality first and see if it would be a nice match for me. You don't necessarily know what you're getting with a kitten, even if you raise him/her yourself. Cats are definitely more unpredictable than dogs.  BUT they know how to use the litter box without your persistent training. They  just do it, and they naturally like to be clean. If you get a good, socialized cat... you have a combination of a well behaved dog that is independent. SCORE!

I use an automatic feeder for Chowder. It is set to go off three times daily for breakfast, lunch, dinner. Therefore, he never meows at me for food or wakes me up in the middle of the night. He has a large water bowl that I fill up every few days. The litter box is so easy to handle. Scoop the poop, and all of it is in one area. I can leave for a weekend trip without having to have someone come by. 

Convenient and ideal all the way around. I've had other pets in my childhood such as rabbits, guinea pigs, turtles, gerbils, hamsters, birds. You do not get the same companionship from them as you do a cat or dog. In the end? I feel that cats are a more ideal pet to have if you are a busy human being. I love seeing retired couples with dogs because I know those dogs are getting every bit of what they need in life... exercise, affection, play time, companionship, and are rarely left alone for hours in a crate during the day. Those dogs are the luckiest ever. 

So until I'm 65 years old and retired, I will be the cat lady. I can give them what they need and vise versa without the guilt of not giving enough in return. 

Any of you who know me well know this is quite a dramatic change. Ana the dog lover to the cat lady? I recently wrote a about how people surprise me all the time, yet I find myself surprising me too.

3rd Year Anniversary

To have celebrated my third year anniversary is an accomplishment as well as endearing for me. When I say it is an accomplishment, Ron and I had the newly wed struggles this year. 2012 was a crazy rollercoaster that I am hoping we never ever get back on again. Fortunately, we both remembered that communication is key and we were able to come back to that wonderful place we were once at. This time, even stronger than ever. I believe that if we come out of our struggles healthy, happy and positive, we certainly learn a lesson and become better people. I feel much closer to Ron having gone through half of this year misunderstanding each other and not communicating very well. I feel much better equipped for the future. I have already began to notice tiny changes in how we react to each other in our different moods. It is quite encouraging to see how much we have learned about one another.

Ron was so sweet this year too. He got me a wedding band. Yes, that's right. It took me three years to get a wedding band and I think it means more to me now than it ever would have if we would have done it the traditional way. Giving me this ring now was like a reminder that he really is here for me and wants this just as much as I do. Dinner at Flavor was amazing with our chipotle shrimp. Yum.  He also got me Jean Phillippe chocolate from Vegas. It is my favorite sweet endulgement and has ruined Hershey's chocolate for me forever. Let's see... I am a wine connoisseur with sophisticated taste buds and now let us add chocolate snob to the list. I have always loved food though, and working at The Circular Dining Room in Hershey is to blame for my sophisticated taste. It was drilled into me at a fairly young age I must say.

I am 26 years old and three years married. I never thought I would be the girl to get married, but I sure did. As Justin Bieber says, "Never say never" because you will probably end up eating your words, which I have done multiple times in my life already. This is why you no longer hear me ranting about why I never want kids anymore because I will jinx myself! haha. I toy back and forth with that, and know that I am no where near ready to take on the challenge of children right now. Ron and I both feel like we should be alone with each other for years to come because marriage itself is a life changing event. Having children is also life changing, and since we have just seemed to fall Nsync with our relationship, we want many years to enjoy this time we have together. It's actually been really great meeting other couples who do not have children because I really do understand how it simply isn't right for some people, and it is not a bad thing. It is also not a bad thing if you are the family type. However, my view on children was tainted for years because of the pressure I felt growing up in a church community where that was very important. Now that the pressure is gone, I feel like I actually do have the choice to make for myself and that it can be an excellent thing if I want to or maybe it isn't for me at all. One thing I do know for sure is as of now is that it is not a bridge I am ready to cross yet. But just the fact that I can see both sides as a positive thing, means I have really been breaking through the brainwashed mentality I once had.

Living this new life in freedom from brainwash is ultra exciting because my world is painted so differently now. It is a brand new world all over again for me to explore. The best part of it all, is that I have my husband by my side supporting me and encouraging me in everything I do. Even though he is Christian and I am not, we are able to live our lives together in harmony neither criticizing or judging the other. We have learned what true acceptance is of a person because we have accepted each other for our differences. Gosh, that has really made me grow and I feel a lot more mature because of this unique situation I have in being married to someone with completely opposite beliefs from mine. Perhaps, one day, we will be a shining example of how we are all capable of loving people different from ourselves. Truly, it is my dream that we will all learn to accept each other for who we are with nothing but kindness towards everyone in our hearts.

A great lesson I learned from my marriage this year is what it really means to love others. Spiritually, it feeds me well. Slowly, but surely, I am working on ridding the poison that comes to my mind when we meet with unpleasant people. It is hard, but I am learning that I am so much happier when I forget the actions of unkind and pretentious people.