The Return to Facebook

*Star Wars Theme Begins*

Ah, yes. I did return... kind of. I decided to share my husband's account, rather than having my own. I prefer it this way, that way I don't have to deal with drama!

I already discussed in a previous post why I got rid of Facebook, so I do not want to rehash that in this post. I started logging into his account to get the scoop on our mutual friends and family. However, everyone thinks he is responding, and I know he doesn't like people thinking it's him when it's me. So we agreed that sharing is convenient for us and everyone else. :) I think Facebook will be much better this time around. Sharing an account as a married couple is a really good thing for us! I am happy about this decision, and so is Ron, since people are no longer being fooled about his presence on there.

However, if people my age had the common courtesy to respect other's privacy, I would not have had to get rid of my Facebook in the first place. Because Ron is much older than me, his generation of friends did not grow up with the internet integrated into their every day lives. As a result, quite a few of his friends share accounts with their significant others, and they only post pictures and updates about themselves. They do not post pictures of their friends without their permission first, and they do not tag their friends names when they are hanging out with them because it is understood by all of them that it is an invasion of privacy. I think Ron's friends need to hold a Facebook Etiquette Seminar to all the adults my age and the upcoming children rising with social sites. Technology is moving so fast that we cannot socially adapt to it as fast. We need help, and we need it now. Social sites require responsible users!

These same people tend to also be the people who abuse their smart phones. Smart phone abusers disrespect the friends and family they are with while in their presence. For example, I have been out to dinner with a friend whose eyes were glued to the phone every couple of minutes through out the entire dinner because she was checking her Facebook comments and responding to them. It was not only annoying, but it felt like a complete waste of my time to be out with someone who basically treated me like a prop on the wall. I have a new table manner in order.

New Table Manner Effective Immediately: 

1. Do not text, call, or look at your phone while you are out at a nice dinner with someone. It is just as rude as eating with your mouth open and burping in someone's face. All these behaviors are distracting.

However, it is understandable that you may be waiting for a call or text from a child, spouse or you may also be waiting for an important email from your boss. I get that, but please establish that with your company so that they do not feel neglected or ignored. Let's make this a common courtesy please.

Thank you!

Nothin' But Smiles

Today I have no words. May the random photos from google tell you my mood today.

Why I'm Not a Christian Anymore

Today, I was asked why I went from being Christian to not believing in God anymore. This is the last time I will discuss my reasons for leaving the faith, since I touch on this issue on a few other posts. I also realized that I do not have an official explanation as to what exactly happened to my faith. In a way, this is closure for me to write about this as it is feels like a final step in letting go. Let me say, it surely did not happen over night. There are three fundamental beliefs in Christianity that I realized over the last year or so that I do not believe.

First of all, the most important belief in Christianity is that Jesus is our Savior, as in he died for our sins and was somehow resurrected. I never understood the concept of someone dying for the sins of all mankind. I cannot wrap my brain around this. It does not make sense to me that someone sacrifices his life for us because we cannot return to where we came from if that was not accomplished. My immediate thought that breaks off from this is that Adam and Eve were set up in a garden to fail. The forbidden fruit tree was nothing but a trap when you really think about it. If the plan all along was for them to eat the forbidden fruit so that we could know right from wrong, how exactly does two people get punished for doing something that was part of a plan?

Secondly, if you believe in Jesus, then you also believe he was born of a virgin. There is no way to comment on that without sounding arrogant, rude or prejudiced so I will just leave that statement alone for pondering. Additionally, this made me wonder why I never questioned it. After taking much time to reflect on this, I realized that I had been regurgitating what I learned in church. I was taught from a young age the 13 articles of faith and had them all memorized at one point. I was like an 18 year old college student memorizing information for an exam. Once I realized I was spitting out things I did not even understand, I had to take some time to myself and think about what my beliefs really were. Then I came to the conclusion that I didn't believe this after all.

Lastly, I have issues with the "word of God" which changes from the Old to New Testament. For example, the concept of a loving, almighty God allowing men to have multiple wives was acceptable, but then later on it was to only be one man and one woman in the New Testament. There is also the implication that marriage is between a man and a woman, so same sex couples are sinners. I have never been able to truly agree that gay folk are sinners. "Clean the speck out of your own eye before you clean the speck out of someone else's." No one has clean eyes, so it does not seem right to meddle in other people's preferences. My understanding of a loving God would consider the feelings of everyone involved, not simply the desires of men (plural marriages) or what the gender has to offer in a relationship (i.e. the ability to bare children doesn't exist for the gays). There are also quite a few stories in there that are a little too much for the brain. To name a few, Noah somehow captured two animals of every kind on a boat without using sedatives or killing them to cooperate. Jonah lived in a whale's stomach for three days, somehow surpassing that massive creature's digestive system. I cannot take these words literally, and I cannot preach to someone else about the bible when I do not believe everything myself.

If I am unsure that Jesus is a Savior, reject the claim he was born of a virgin, and do not believe the words literally of the Bible, then I obviously cannot be labeled a Christian. However, I do enjoy the moral of the stories that the Bible teaches. I believe a man named Jesus existed because there are books outside of the Bible that mention him. However, I also believe that Mary had sex with Joseph in order to conceive him. Do I believe Jesus is a Savior? That is where I simply cannot say I know that because I prayed and got a good feeling about it. If we made every decision based off our feelings, we would make many terrible mistakes. Imagine if you made me angry and my gut told me to punch you? Yikes. It isn't safe to go through life making choices based off your feelings. I think that leads to a delusional perspective of your life and the world you live in. In addition, I am willing to at least say that I believe there is a creator. I believe in spirits because of my experiences with intuition, which some may call a revelation. I am not atheist or agnostic since I do believe in a creator and I do believe in spirits. I only reject the Biblical explanation of God. That doesn't mean I reject the idea of a creator or the idea of spirituality. I simply cannot be labeled a Christian. So, the answer to the question I was asked today is that it was a spiritual journey on my quest to the truth. I am spiritual, non-religious, which is not that crazy of a jump from Christianity if you are able to consider my perspective on it.

The Past, Present, and Future

Strange how people from your past can suddenly make a difference in the presence. Sometimes, when you think about someone from a long time ago, it may not be such a random thought. I thought about a girl I met once as a teenager, got in contact with her, and it ended up serving me a purpose. It brought the meaning of adoption back into my thoughts and gave me a much healthier look at it. It has also allowed me to have a positive interaction with another Mormon. My defense walls weren't up. In fact, they came down and I was able to talk about things I don't normally discuss. There was a familiar comfort I felt with this gal and I am glad I did open to her. Again, strange how a person from the past can suddenly pop into your mind and actually help you in some way. Lesson here? Maybe you need to act on a past memory. There could be a reason for it.

On a spiritual note, I am interested in learning more about Buddhism. I like the teachings and the peace meditation brings. Ron thinks I am weird for this, but he understands too. My spiritual journey isn't to be reckoned with. Ultimately, I need my own fulfillment of the most peace and joy I can find. I am truly a lucky woman to have a supporting husband in this part of my life. I know some Christian men who would divorce their wives over something like this. Instead, he is allowing me to find what works for me and I cannot ask for more than that. Accepting each other is what love is. It isn't about me doing what he wants or him doing what I want. Ultimately, when someone strays from religion, the family or the spouse tends to take it personally, when it really has nothing to do with them at all. Fortunately, Ron is mature enough to understand that now.

I am currently reading this book. I highly recommend it.

Along the lines of spirituality, yesterday, we learned about the Big Bang Theory in astronomy. Finally, I know what all the fuss is about... absolutely nothing. Now I see that if people's feathers are getting ruffled over a theory that explains how the universe was created, nothing more or less than that, they are greatly misinformed. It does not prove that there is no deity. It does not prove any religion wrong. It does not claim to know what was before the universe or what is after. It only tells a logical explanation of how the universe began based off the evidence we see from other galaxies, planets, and stars forming. There is no reason why a religious person should reject this theory as a threat to their beliefs. There is no reason to fuse the two together. You can believe in God and the Big Bang Theory simultaneously if you want. Your God will probably be impressed that we have paid such close attention to the details. 

Today's battle: Not trying to eat the entire box of pizza. 

...Off I go to finish it anyway...

Racial Profiling

Even in San Diego, I cannot escape the implicit expectation that I should act or talk like a hispanic. I remember Hershey, PA like it was yesterday. I attended a nearly pure caucasian high school. I thought those days were over when people were telling me how white washed I am. Nope. 

Here I am in a multicultural city with more people stating the same thing. The way I learned to speak is influenced by my environment. I grew up in an educated town with a white family. Not... my... fault. This is how I speak and I am proud to speak proper English. It annoyed me yesterday when this girl told me, "You sound too white." Well, you sound too ghetto. 

First of all, I resent this idea that people speak too white. That implies that anyone with brown skin who speaks properly is automatically tainted by light skin color. "Speaking too white" is stated as if it is an undesirable trait. How long ago was the civil war? I thought we were past this. Apparently, we now implicitly stereotype people's behavior and their speech by their ethnicity. Hundreds of years later with equal rights, women's rights, and blended culture being an active part of our lives now, there still remains an expectation that we should all be influenced by our ancestral roots. 

I realize people are going to think what they want and say stupid things all the time. I cannot change that. "You can only change yourself," says a famous philosopher I do not know. However, the problem here is not that I am unaware of myself. The problem is that people expect me to be different, and sometimes want me to be different. Perhaps, I should be used to this considering my family dynamic growing up. They always wanted me to be something I wasn't, and it isn't any different these days with some people. I don't feel at this point in my life that it is worth fighting ignorance, but that doesn't mean I cannot express my frustration with these kind of comments. It is annoying, not hurtful, rather frustrating to hear. At 26 years old, it has been ten years of hearing these comments from random or not so random people so of course I am going to huff, puff, and roll my eyes. I think I am justified in venting out my frustration with ignorant people. Otherwise, it bottles up and then I blow up on the next person to say that. Blogging about it here releases that negative pent up energy and allows me to ignore it in a healthy way.

On a positive note, it is these experiences that open my mind up to the way people develop. If I hear a white boy sounding black, I never assume he is acting. Just outside of my hometown is the city of Harrisburg, the capital of Pennsylvania where just about half the people you see are black. The white girls that attend the schools with many blacks speak and dress differently from the white girls I went to school with in a small town. I have never once told a white girl that she sounds too black. If her friends are black and her community is black, that doesn't mean she is sounding like a black girl. It means that we are all influenced by the subculture in our environments. What we are exposed to is what we likely become. Education does not mean white, and ghetto does not mean black. Therefore, sounding like a white or black girl are stereotypes. They are unfair claims to the person we are categorizing. The perception that ghetto, hip hop, and ebonics are reserved for blacks, brown colored people probably speak Spanish, and white people are educated and proper are outdated. Turn off the TV and read something informative. 

I am a Brazilian girl who moved here when I was three years old and grew up in a disgustingly wealthy caucasian, small town. Of course, I am going to speak proper English. If you went to school in the United States from kindergarten to twelfth grade like me, you should speak well too. It doesn't matter if you are black, indian, white, asian or hispanic. If I sound too white because I speak and write well, I am not going to apologize for paying attention in class and reading books. Speaking and writing well are valuable skills. I am proud to have them, not sorry for it one bit.