What is Success?

As I get older, I see that the meaning of success is something different to everyone. There is a popular meaning of success, which is that you graduated from college, acquired a good paying job with benefits that allows you to buy a house, drive a good car, get married, have a family, living a comfortable or wealthy life style. That seems to be the most accepted meaning of success in this modern era. I keep thinking about what success really means though, and to me, it isn't about the job, the degree, the house, or the car. Let me explain that I think it is important to work, learn and be informed, as well as having transportation as it simply makes your life a lot easier to live. However, I do not believe those things determine success. For me, success is about my relationships with people as well as asking myself the following questions: Do I try to be honest? Do I try to do good to others? Do I try to be selfless sometimes? Do I try to be humble? Can I at least say that I try to be good? Can I admit when I am wrong? Do I try to be a better person? Do I learn from my mistakes? Am I willing to apologize when I hurt someone else? Am I honest with myself about my feelings? Do I self-reflect? 

I can honestly say that I try to say yes to these questions every day, and that is what determines success in my life. When I am on my death bed, I want to be remembered for being kind, thoughtful and caring to other people, not just myself. I want friends and family to remember me as someone who sacrificed things to help others at times, and also as a person who reached out to other people. That, to me, is a life worth living. To lie on my death bed with family and friends' memories of me are about striving after the material things in this world would truly be a sad way to leave this life. After all, you will live on in the memories of others. It would be a shame to be remembered as someone that was selfish, arrogant, and pretentious. I actually want to be missed, and not become a figment of their imagination. 

Living in Southern California, I have met a lot more selfish, arrogant, and pretentious people more than anywhere I have ever lived. The reason why this is so is because the cost of living here is higher than most states, resulting in richer people who raise kids that develop high standards of living along with a sense of entitlement. Evidently, these kids have no idea what real struggles are, only read about them in college books about other cultures and upbringings. Even then, it does not humble them very much. I have started to become immune to this, in the sense that it isn't eating me up like it used to. Instead, I am able to deflect the nonsense and have no expectations of people anymore, which is a rather good thing. I didn't realize I had expectations from people until I moved here. There is a reason for everything after all.

At the end of my day now, I actually feel sorry for some of the people out here. They are dominated by the desires of our pop culture, but no one has taught them differently. It makes me really happy not to fit in with this way of thinking. That is a major reason why I am at peace with myself. While many people are suffering from anxiety and stress, I am relaxed and calm in the middle of this storm of a city. Take a look around in nature, no other creatures are stressing out the way humans do. I learn so much from that. I refuse to be pushed around by societal expectations. I am my own person. I determine what success means, not celebrities, not politicians, not CEO's, not 4.0 students, not anyone. My friends and family's attitude towards me is what tells me if I am the type of person I respect and admire. 

"I do not think the measure of a civilization is how tall its buildings of concrete are, but rather how well its people have learned to relate to their environment and fellow man."

-Sun Bear of the Chippewa Tribe