Working day shifts since school didn't work out has been great. I am dating my husband all over again. We have gone out on a whim to the movies, made dinner together, and have a lot more time to talk. The past few days have been especially romantic, and I have learned more about his childhood too.
Tonight, we brought up the past on how we met and what we thought about each other in the beginning of our relationship. It rekindled that emotion of feeling special. We were reminded tonight why we fell in love in the first place. It's good to bring up the past - bad and good. You learn something new each time you do. The bad memories will help you to learn from mistakes or not do to someone else what was done to you. The good memories will make you happy and remind you what you have to be grateful for.
I didn't think this was possible, but I feel like I am falling in love again with Ron in a different way. I did not realize how time together makes a tremendous impact on your relationship. We drifted apart for a little bit when I was going to school during the day, then working many late nights only to return home to a sleeping husband. He needs his rest for his early work days. Five years together now, and we have reached that point of understanding what our relationship needs to maintain itself.
Time. Dates. Talks. Sex.
Seems so obvious right? But it isn't. It is very easy to get caught up in the obligations of life with little regard to what is really important in your life. I have recently let my walls down completely, allowing myself to be vulnerable with Ron. Marriage is humbling. You cannot be selfish in it. You need to think about the other person as much as you think about yourself. If you want to be happy in it, you have to let things go, change your attitude sometimes, consider another perspective and choose battles wisely. Some things aren't even worth mentioning. For example, Ron has a tendency to overreact to little things. For instance, today, I reached for the Special K on the kitchen counter to scan the label so I could log it as my breakfast. He immediately snatched it from me and said, "Hey! Don't eat that! I just made us delicious, vegan tacos!"
As silly as this was, there are two ways to respond to that. I could have gotten annoyed because he assumed I was going to eat Special K over his tacos and because he grabbed it out of my hand. OR I could just look at him and smile while I said, "My dear, I'm just going to scan the label for my breakfast I had today." What an amazing response I got in return, a simple, "Oh" as he returned the box to me and emphasized how much he wanted me to eat the tacos with a little kiss.
In the recent past, I might have reacted annoyed and expressed my dissatisfaction with his grabbing the box out of my hand along with his assumption I was passing on his tacos. But why? Simply, he was passionate about his tacos is all, and grabbing the box out of my hand was his way of defending his cooking. When you care about someone and how they feel, these little things will become just that... little things. Nothing worth getting annoyed about and starting an argument over. Why take away from a perfectly lovely evening that a man has put together for you?
It is in these moments that I realize we are growing together. We are learning about each other. Things to get upset about should be important matters involving disrespect for one another. All that other stuff is just plain good for ya. Why? If you allow yourself to grow with someone else, you begin to see how much more patient you are than you were before. You begin to have more compassion than you did before. You start to realize that loving someone is a choice that you make, every day. Love builds trust, the kind of trust that is rarely experienced between two people. Love is what makes you beautiful.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Friday, October 4, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Husband and Wife
The semester ends tomorrow! But with that comes two finals that I can only do my best on. I have been on lockdown these last few weeks preparing for them.
With that said, my summer is going to be amazing! I am not taking summer classes this time because I took summer classes last year. That's enough! After one solid year of school, I need my summer break.
This past week has made me reflect a lot on how much I love Ron. He has been tutoring me in math and helping me with my homework after he gets home from work. I wouldn't be passing this class if he wasn't helping me. I have to say, I am really happy I married this guy. I went through a period where I started to question the value of marriage when I let my Christian faith go. Once you admit to yourself that you are not Christian, you begin to question everything you ever valued, so naturally, marriage was on the list of questionable necessities. That doesn't mean I felt I needed to divorce Ron, but I had realized that if I knew what I know now, I don't think marriage would have been necessary simply because I don't need a piece of paper to be recognized by the government to prove anything.
However, as I have given marriage much thought over the last few months, I realize that it is important to me after all, piece of paper, wedding rings and all. Why? It is something that not just a boyfriend does. It is extremely endearing that your boyfriend wants to prove to you that he wants to commit to you through your bad moments as well as your good, but also wants that same thing back from you. That right there, does in fact, take your relationship to a different level. If I was just dating Ron until now, I probably would have left at some point because I was bored, wanted to live in another state, or just flat out wanted something different for myself....myself... and how easy it is to break up with a boyfriend. In a marriage? Not so easy, and you honestly cannot think about just yourself. You did make commitments to that person and you promised to love them through all bad and good, better and worse. What kind of person would I be if I decided to leave someone just because I was bored?
And ya know what... every emotion we experience is temporary. Every phase in life is temporary. Boredom and desires come and go, but the important people in your life don't have to. No matter what, every relationship you get into will have its own issues because none of us are perfect. So why not commit to someone you are compatible with, who understands you, and chooses to love you with all of your flaws? For me, having found that person, I am glad I did marry him and I do not regret that decision.
Recently, I had a conversation with Ron about this and he said he knows I am not the girl who really cares about having a ring, but because I was that type of girl, that made him want to give me the best ring he could because he felt I deserved one. That makes my heart smile that this man just wanted the very best for me. It says something about a guy who wants everyone to know she's taken for good. When I look down at my ring now, I see a decision made in love, and his presence is there when he's not around. I also see it as a message to other men for when he is not around which is, "back off." Looking at it that way makes the ring pretty darn powerful!
I like the fact that when he's out and about, he has a wedding ring on his hand that lets everyone know he found someone special who he chooses to love for the rest of his life. Marriage is more than just the piece of paper. It's about the message it sends to others, it shows pride in choosing someone to be with forever because they are special to you. It shows confidence by your ability to commit to someone with life's unknown circumstances that will surely weave its way into your path. Marriage reminds you that love is a choice, and you choose to love that person. This October will be four years of marriage with Ron, and I feel that we are growing together. Marriage is a beautiful thing if you choose to see it that way. It's all in the perspective of the human. :-)
With that said, my summer is going to be amazing! I am not taking summer classes this time because I took summer classes last year. That's enough! After one solid year of school, I need my summer break.
This past week has made me reflect a lot on how much I love Ron. He has been tutoring me in math and helping me with my homework after he gets home from work. I wouldn't be passing this class if he wasn't helping me. I have to say, I am really happy I married this guy. I went through a period where I started to question the value of marriage when I let my Christian faith go. Once you admit to yourself that you are not Christian, you begin to question everything you ever valued, so naturally, marriage was on the list of questionable necessities. That doesn't mean I felt I needed to divorce Ron, but I had realized that if I knew what I know now, I don't think marriage would have been necessary simply because I don't need a piece of paper to be recognized by the government to prove anything.
However, as I have given marriage much thought over the last few months, I realize that it is important to me after all, piece of paper, wedding rings and all. Why? It is something that not just a boyfriend does. It is extremely endearing that your boyfriend wants to prove to you that he wants to commit to you through your bad moments as well as your good, but also wants that same thing back from you. That right there, does in fact, take your relationship to a different level. If I was just dating Ron until now, I probably would have left at some point because I was bored, wanted to live in another state, or just flat out wanted something different for myself....myself... and how easy it is to break up with a boyfriend. In a marriage? Not so easy, and you honestly cannot think about just yourself. You did make commitments to that person and you promised to love them through all bad and good, better and worse. What kind of person would I be if I decided to leave someone just because I was bored?
And ya know what... every emotion we experience is temporary. Every phase in life is temporary. Boredom and desires come and go, but the important people in your life don't have to. No matter what, every relationship you get into will have its own issues because none of us are perfect. So why not commit to someone you are compatible with, who understands you, and chooses to love you with all of your flaws? For me, having found that person, I am glad I did marry him and I do not regret that decision.
Recently, I had a conversation with Ron about this and he said he knows I am not the girl who really cares about having a ring, but because I was that type of girl, that made him want to give me the best ring he could because he felt I deserved one. That makes my heart smile that this man just wanted the very best for me. It says something about a guy who wants everyone to know she's taken for good. When I look down at my ring now, I see a decision made in love, and his presence is there when he's not around. I also see it as a message to other men for when he is not around which is, "back off." Looking at it that way makes the ring pretty darn powerful!
I like the fact that when he's out and about, he has a wedding ring on his hand that lets everyone know he found someone special who he chooses to love for the rest of his life. Marriage is more than just the piece of paper. It's about the message it sends to others, it shows pride in choosing someone to be with forever because they are special to you. It shows confidence by your ability to commit to someone with life's unknown circumstances that will surely weave its way into your path. Marriage reminds you that love is a choice, and you choose to love that person. This October will be four years of marriage with Ron, and I feel that we are growing together. Marriage is a beautiful thing if you choose to see it that way. It's all in the perspective of the human. :-)
Friday, March 22, 2013
In Defense of Age Gap Relationships
Today, I spoke with a good friend about the crazy world of dating. She is once where I was, in a position where she is beginning to date a man 15 years older. Hearing that, my eyes do not flinch and my mouth does not drop to the floor because I am that girl too. I am used to those reactions from others, and I am used to the many thoughtless accusations as well, such as being called a gold digger or I'm a daughter looking for her daddy. Those accusations are meaningless to me because they simply don't apply. However, I do wonder what provokes this silliness in people to blurt out such nonsense. Then I remembered, the television. It always comes down to the media, and what people are feeding their brains, which ultimately makes up their world view. I notice how judgmental people are about age gap relationships, and I wasn't inspired to write about the misconceptions of it until a good friend of mine is now finding herself in my shoes. It is very interesting to be on the outside looking in to where I was over four years ago.
One of the first misconceptions about age gap relationships is the assumption that the younger woman is a gold digger. The definition of a gold digger is a lady who goes after a man because of the money he makes or the assets he has. By definition, that does not refer to strictly young women. A woman of any age with no age gap in their relationship can be a gold digger. Unfortunately, "The Girls Next Door" has been a popular show for years, which is the stereotypical situation of young women who are there to enjoy luxurious perks and earn some good money for being cute from an old man. As a result, people who watch the show or are at least familiar with it see a bunch of young, good looking girls going after all the materialistic things a man can offer them. With all that popular footage clouding people's minds, the gold digger image of young women is unfairly projected onto all women who date someone ten years older or more.
Let's use me as an example as to why this is not only unfair, but also a harsh judgement coming from a biast perspective. First of all, I am not a supermodel or a beauty queen. I have never once in my life been hit on by a billionaire. I would not even know the first thing about getting in contact with someone of that status. Instead, I met my husband in a socially respectable place, bible study. Being called a gold digger would imply that I went to bible study to look for a rich man to date. Then that would also mean I was in bible study for the wrong reasons, so not only is that accusation false, but it also implies that you think that low of me that I would only date someone because of the things he can give me. Secondly, if you knew even 10% about my husband, you would also know that he does not own a mansion, a lamborghini or a private jet. All of these things would be on my list if I was going after someone for their money. Clearly, I didn't make out with those things, so that is my counter argument to that terrible assessment of my intentions.
Also, the gold digger accusation tends to come from a lot of housewives themselves. They do not work, but they do not mind pointing their finger at someone else and accusing them of exactly what they are doing. This is not said to overgeneralize housewives, but what needs to be pointed out here is that many people who have accused women like me and my friend of being gold diggers do not work themselves. Their dream job is to stay at home, which ultimately means that their husbands have to make enough money for them to do so. Did you hear that? Make enough money for them to stay at home. My friend and I both have jobs and go to school full-time. Funny how no one is calling housewives or stay at home moms gold diggers. No, the part where they need their husbands money to let them be that is completely nailed under the hardwood floors, not even swept, nailed under the foundation of the house under that rug.
Why do women with high standards who expect their husbands to be doctors, engineers, CEO's, or whatever only referred to as pretentious? Is that not a form of gold digging? But somehow, me, a full-time student and a part-time worker gets crowned gold digger.
The second misconception about age gap relationships is the psychoanalysis of the younger woman needing a father. True, I did not have a present father in my childhood. However, why would I be interested in dating someone to take the place of my father? That implies that I am looking for a parent to navigate my life, which would defeat the point of a romantic relationship. In fact, I would not be sexually attracted to someone who reminded me of my dad because it would feel wrong just as much as it is wrong. Evidently, a fatherless or absent fathered woman who marries someone closer to her age is never accused of finding a mate to replace her father, so why would age suddenly mean something different? Bottom line, for most relationships to work, there needs to be attraction to each other. If I am attracted to my husband, it does not matter if you are not.
Then there is the idea that age gap relationships have problems and communication issues due to the age gap. I'm sorry, did I miss something here? I was totally unaware that problems and communication issues are strictly reserved for people in an age gap relationship. No other marriage in the world has any issues because they are closer in age. Pardon me, I missed the memo.
Our grandparents disagree, our parents disagree, siblings disagree, friends disagree, co-workers disagree. People of all ages can have disagreements with each other. Marrying someone older does not automatically put us in a category of failure to agree, compromise, and understand each other. On the contrary, I have learned a lot about older music, older cartoons, movies, and linguistics by being married to someone older, and he has also learned about the newer side of those things. It has opened up some intellectual conversations, and it never ceases what we learn about each other and how the world relates to each other. There have been many benefits for me because of his maturity alongside conversation. He is stable, I feel safe with him, and he is the most sensitive person towards my feelings and mood swings. Bottom line, no other man would put up with my shenanigans and I know this. He is a fantastic match for me, and I'll be damned if I let anyone out there tell me otherwise.
So go ahead, judge, point fingers, criticize, accuse me of all the wicked things of this world. It won't make me leave my husband because people are disgusted and shocked by us. If I leave, it'll be on my own terms for reasons that could be exactly the same as other normal couples in close age. People forget that most of the divorces out there are couples in closer age. I am not here to judge them either though. I am simply pointing out a few things that may shed light on relationships like mine.
One of the first misconceptions about age gap relationships is the assumption that the younger woman is a gold digger. The definition of a gold digger is a lady who goes after a man because of the money he makes or the assets he has. By definition, that does not refer to strictly young women. A woman of any age with no age gap in their relationship can be a gold digger. Unfortunately, "The Girls Next Door" has been a popular show for years, which is the stereotypical situation of young women who are there to enjoy luxurious perks and earn some good money for being cute from an old man. As a result, people who watch the show or are at least familiar with it see a bunch of young, good looking girls going after all the materialistic things a man can offer them. With all that popular footage clouding people's minds, the gold digger image of young women is unfairly projected onto all women who date someone ten years older or more.
Let's use me as an example as to why this is not only unfair, but also a harsh judgement coming from a biast perspective. First of all, I am not a supermodel or a beauty queen. I have never once in my life been hit on by a billionaire. I would not even know the first thing about getting in contact with someone of that status. Instead, I met my husband in a socially respectable place, bible study. Being called a gold digger would imply that I went to bible study to look for a rich man to date. Then that would also mean I was in bible study for the wrong reasons, so not only is that accusation false, but it also implies that you think that low of me that I would only date someone because of the things he can give me. Secondly, if you knew even 10% about my husband, you would also know that he does not own a mansion, a lamborghini or a private jet. All of these things would be on my list if I was going after someone for their money. Clearly, I didn't make out with those things, so that is my counter argument to that terrible assessment of my intentions.
Also, the gold digger accusation tends to come from a lot of housewives themselves. They do not work, but they do not mind pointing their finger at someone else and accusing them of exactly what they are doing. This is not said to overgeneralize housewives, but what needs to be pointed out here is that many people who have accused women like me and my friend of being gold diggers do not work themselves. Their dream job is to stay at home, which ultimately means that their husbands have to make enough money for them to do so. Did you hear that? Make enough money for them to stay at home. My friend and I both have jobs and go to school full-time. Funny how no one is calling housewives or stay at home moms gold diggers. No, the part where they need their husbands money to let them be that is completely nailed under the hardwood floors, not even swept, nailed under the foundation of the house under that rug.
Why do women with high standards who expect their husbands to be doctors, engineers, CEO's, or whatever only referred to as pretentious? Is that not a form of gold digging? But somehow, me, a full-time student and a part-time worker gets crowned gold digger.
The second misconception about age gap relationships is the psychoanalysis of the younger woman needing a father. True, I did not have a present father in my childhood. However, why would I be interested in dating someone to take the place of my father? That implies that I am looking for a parent to navigate my life, which would defeat the point of a romantic relationship. In fact, I would not be sexually attracted to someone who reminded me of my dad because it would feel wrong just as much as it is wrong. Evidently, a fatherless or absent fathered woman who marries someone closer to her age is never accused of finding a mate to replace her father, so why would age suddenly mean something different? Bottom line, for most relationships to work, there needs to be attraction to each other. If I am attracted to my husband, it does not matter if you are not.
Then there is the idea that age gap relationships have problems and communication issues due to the age gap. I'm sorry, did I miss something here? I was totally unaware that problems and communication issues are strictly reserved for people in an age gap relationship. No other marriage in the world has any issues because they are closer in age. Pardon me, I missed the memo.
Our grandparents disagree, our parents disagree, siblings disagree, friends disagree, co-workers disagree. People of all ages can have disagreements with each other. Marrying someone older does not automatically put us in a category of failure to agree, compromise, and understand each other. On the contrary, I have learned a lot about older music, older cartoons, movies, and linguistics by being married to someone older, and he has also learned about the newer side of those things. It has opened up some intellectual conversations, and it never ceases what we learn about each other and how the world relates to each other. There have been many benefits for me because of his maturity alongside conversation. He is stable, I feel safe with him, and he is the most sensitive person towards my feelings and mood swings. Bottom line, no other man would put up with my shenanigans and I know this. He is a fantastic match for me, and I'll be damned if I let anyone out there tell me otherwise.
So go ahead, judge, point fingers, criticize, accuse me of all the wicked things of this world. It won't make me leave my husband because people are disgusted and shocked by us. If I leave, it'll be on my own terms for reasons that could be exactly the same as other normal couples in close age. People forget that most of the divorces out there are couples in closer age. I am not here to judge them either though. I am simply pointing out a few things that may shed light on relationships like mine.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Dear Ron
This year, I want the world to know that I am thankful for you. You have been an amazing example of unconditional love. I know I was not the best wife this year, but you still continued to love me. You forgave me for things that make me realize just how special you are. Your heart is filled with compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and love. You are the happiest person I know, and it rubs off on me. I thank you for that, and I am so grateful for your positive attitude in everything you do.
Because you are a glass half full kinda guy, you have helped me fill my empty glass with the Eeyore rain clouds hovering above me. I am less resentful, less negative, and less angry about things because of the love that you have showered me with. You help me gravitate to the light, away from my instinctually dark ways.
You have always bestowed upmost respect for me. I feel so lucky because you never give me any reason to feel insecure in our relationship by always making me feel special. The way you look at me makes me feel like the most beautiful person to you. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. I have never believed that I was the most beautiful person to anyone. I know that you love me. I feel it, and I know it. I love you back.
We got through a rough patch this year. I have never felt more confident in a relationship than I do now. You have seen me at my worst this year, and you fulfilled an important vow, "for better or worse..." You really meant it, and I witnessed it this year. I know this won't be the last challenge we ever face, but you and I both know how hard this year was for us, and if we made it through that, I think we have the tools necessary for the next hiccup to come.
I write this to you on my blog because I want my friends to know that you are the best thing that has come my way, and not in a pathetic Romeo and Juliet way. You DO make me a better person, and everyone needs to know that you are a true chivalrous Knight in Shining Armor. You rescued a damsel in distress all right, and I appreciate every little thing you do for me.
Because you are a glass half full kinda guy, you have helped me fill my empty glass with the Eeyore rain clouds hovering above me. I am less resentful, less negative, and less angry about things because of the love that you have showered me with. You help me gravitate to the light, away from my instinctually dark ways.
We got through a rough patch this year. I have never felt more confident in a relationship than I do now. You have seen me at my worst this year, and you fulfilled an important vow, "for better or worse..." You really meant it, and I witnessed it this year. I know this won't be the last challenge we ever face, but you and I both know how hard this year was for us, and if we made it through that, I think we have the tools necessary for the next hiccup to come.
I write this to you on my blog because I want my friends to know that you are the best thing that has come my way, and not in a pathetic Romeo and Juliet way. You DO make me a better person, and everyone needs to know that you are a true chivalrous Knight in Shining Armor. You rescued a damsel in distress all right, and I appreciate every little thing you do for me.
I, here by knight thee as Best, Noble Husband
...who I shall not take for granted as my duty in return for your faithfulness.
You are the one I always hoped for, but never thought existed. I hope you stick around forever. ;-)
Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans this year.
<3 Your Lucy Ricardo
Thursday, November 1, 2012
3rd Year Anniversary
To have celebrated my third year anniversary is an accomplishment as well as endearing for me. When I say it is an accomplishment, Ron and I had the newly wed struggles this year. 2012 was a crazy rollercoaster that I am hoping we never ever get back on again. Fortunately, we both remembered that communication is key and we were able to come back to that wonderful place we were once at. This time, even stronger than ever. I believe that if we come out of our struggles healthy, happy and positive, we certainly learn a lesson and become better people. I feel much closer to Ron having gone through half of this year misunderstanding each other and not communicating very well. I feel much better equipped for the future. I have already began to notice tiny changes in how we react to each other in our different moods. It is quite encouraging to see how much we have learned about one another.
Ron was so sweet this year too. He got me a wedding band. Yes, that's right. It took me three years to get a wedding band and I think it means more to me now than it ever would have if we would have done it the traditional way. Giving me this ring now was like a reminder that he really is here for me and wants this just as much as I do. Dinner at Flavor was amazing with our chipotle shrimp. Yum. He also got me Jean Phillippe chocolate from Vegas. It is my favorite sweet endulgement and has ruined Hershey's chocolate for me forever. Let's see... I am a wine connoisseur with sophisticated taste buds and now let us add chocolate snob to the list. I have always loved food though, and working at The Circular Dining Room in Hershey is to blame for my sophisticated taste. It was drilled into me at a fairly young age I must say.
I am 26 years old and three years married. I never thought I would be the girl to get married, but I sure did. As Justin Bieber says, "Never say never" because you will probably end up eating your words, which I have done multiple times in my life already. This is why you no longer hear me ranting about why I never want kids anymore because I will jinx myself! haha. I toy back and forth with that, and know that I am no where near ready to take on the challenge of children right now. Ron and I both feel like we should be alone with each other for years to come because marriage itself is a life changing event. Having children is also life changing, and since we have just seemed to fall Nsync with our relationship, we want many years to enjoy this time we have together. It's actually been really great meeting other couples who do not have children because I really do understand how it simply isn't right for some people, and it is not a bad thing. It is also not a bad thing if you are the family type. However, my view on children was tainted for years because of the pressure I felt growing up in a church community where that was very important. Now that the pressure is gone, I feel like I actually do have the choice to make for myself and that it can be an excellent thing if I want to or maybe it isn't for me at all. One thing I do know for sure is as of now is that it is not a bridge I am ready to cross yet. But just the fact that I can see both sides as a positive thing, means I have really been breaking through the brainwashed mentality I once had.
Living this new life in freedom from brainwash is ultra exciting because my world is painted so differently now. It is a brand new world all over again for me to explore. The best part of it all, is that I have my husband by my side supporting me and encouraging me in everything I do. Even though he is Christian and I am not, we are able to live our lives together in harmony neither criticizing or judging the other. We have learned what true acceptance is of a person because we have accepted each other for our differences. Gosh, that has really made me grow and I feel a lot more mature because of this unique situation I have in being married to someone with completely opposite beliefs from mine. Perhaps, one day, we will be a shining example of how we are all capable of loving people different from ourselves. Truly, it is my dream that we will all learn to accept each other for who we are with nothing but kindness towards everyone in our hearts.
A great lesson I learned from my marriage this year is what it really means to love others. Spiritually, it feeds me well. Slowly, but surely, I am working on ridding the poison that comes to my mind when we meet with unpleasant people. It is hard, but I am learning that I am so much happier when I forget the actions of unkind and pretentious people.
Ron was so sweet this year too. He got me a wedding band. Yes, that's right. It took me three years to get a wedding band and I think it means more to me now than it ever would have if we would have done it the traditional way. Giving me this ring now was like a reminder that he really is here for me and wants this just as much as I do. Dinner at Flavor was amazing with our chipotle shrimp. Yum. He also got me Jean Phillippe chocolate from Vegas. It is my favorite sweet endulgement and has ruined Hershey's chocolate for me forever. Let's see... I am a wine connoisseur with sophisticated taste buds and now let us add chocolate snob to the list. I have always loved food though, and working at The Circular Dining Room in Hershey is to blame for my sophisticated taste. It was drilled into me at a fairly young age I must say.
I am 26 years old and three years married. I never thought I would be the girl to get married, but I sure did. As Justin Bieber says, "Never say never" because you will probably end up eating your words, which I have done multiple times in my life already. This is why you no longer hear me ranting about why I never want kids anymore because I will jinx myself! haha. I toy back and forth with that, and know that I am no where near ready to take on the challenge of children right now. Ron and I both feel like we should be alone with each other for years to come because marriage itself is a life changing event. Having children is also life changing, and since we have just seemed to fall Nsync with our relationship, we want many years to enjoy this time we have together. It's actually been really great meeting other couples who do not have children because I really do understand how it simply isn't right for some people, and it is not a bad thing. It is also not a bad thing if you are the family type. However, my view on children was tainted for years because of the pressure I felt growing up in a church community where that was very important. Now that the pressure is gone, I feel like I actually do have the choice to make for myself and that it can be an excellent thing if I want to or maybe it isn't for me at all. One thing I do know for sure is as of now is that it is not a bridge I am ready to cross yet. But just the fact that I can see both sides as a positive thing, means I have really been breaking through the brainwashed mentality I once had.
Living this new life in freedom from brainwash is ultra exciting because my world is painted so differently now. It is a brand new world all over again for me to explore. The best part of it all, is that I have my husband by my side supporting me and encouraging me in everything I do. Even though he is Christian and I am not, we are able to live our lives together in harmony neither criticizing or judging the other. We have learned what true acceptance is of a person because we have accepted each other for our differences. Gosh, that has really made me grow and I feel a lot more mature because of this unique situation I have in being married to someone with completely opposite beliefs from mine. Perhaps, one day, we will be a shining example of how we are all capable of loving people different from ourselves. Truly, it is my dream that we will all learn to accept each other for who we are with nothing but kindness towards everyone in our hearts.
A great lesson I learned from my marriage this year is what it really means to love others. Spiritually, it feeds me well. Slowly, but surely, I am working on ridding the poison that comes to my mind when we meet with unpleasant people. It is hard, but I am learning that I am so much happier when I forget the actions of unkind and pretentious people.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)